Why Mormons Leave

The reasons › How people are treated

Women

Women are excluded from priesthood and from every decision-making body, taught a narrow set of roles, and asked to accept an eternity in which polygamy remains doctrine. This was the issue women rated highest of all.

Three Women of Mormondom · C.R. Savage · Public domain

What members were taught

Men and women are equal but have different, divinely appointed roles. Men hold the priesthood; women have motherhood. Women preside over the Relief Society, Young Women, and Primary under priesthood direction. Nothing is missing; this is the order of heaven.

What the record shows

Women are excluded from priesthood and from every decision-making body, taught a narrow set of roles, and asked to accept an eternity in which polygamy remains doctrine. This was the issue women rated highest of all.

When the survey's results were broken out by gender, the largest difference was here. Women rated the Church's stance on women, women and the priesthood, the treatment of LGBTQ members, polygamy, and abuse all significantly higher than men did. In the trend analysis, "treatment of women" was among the fastest-rising issues in the entire survey.

The written comments are specific. "The ONLY place in my life where I am treated as a lesser human being is at church," wrote a woman with a doctorate and a professorship. "A 12 year old boy had more authority from God than I did," wrote another. Several described the young women's program as training for a single role and the discouragement of any other. Several asked why Heavenly Mother exists in doctrine and is forbidden in prayer. Several asked why they must share a husband in eternity when he need not share them.

The Church's response since 2011 has been incremental: women pray in general conference (2013), sister missionaries serve at nineteen (2012), women sit on a few general councils (2015), the temple covenant to hearken was removed (2019), and a 2015 essay acknowledged Heavenly Mother. The structure is unchanged. Every bishop, stake president, apostle, and prophet is a man, and every decision about women's roles is made without them. The most visible woman to ask for more, Kate Kelly, was excommunicated in 2014.

When former members were asked what would bring them back, more respect and equality for women was one of the four most common answers.

In their words

“As a woman in the church, to always look to authority, to be male, whether it's God or Jesus. And I know in Mormon theology we teach about a Heavenly Mother, but at least in my upbringing, it was sort of off limits to talk about. The narrative I was taught around that was that Heavenly Mother is so sacred that Heavenly Father doesn't want us to talk about her.”

Mindy Gledhill Mormon Stories 2178 at 42:37, 2026. Hear it · Episode

“Threats that are going to happen to his beautiful daughter if she doesn't let his son marry more than one woman. It's just... My shelf broke and collapsed to the ground so fast.”

Julie Durrant, On reading Doctrine and Covenants 132, in which Emma Smith is warned of destruction if she does not accept plural marriage. Mormon Stories 1737 at 2:10:34, 2023. Hear it · Episode

“The first big question I ever remember having was about Heavenly Mother and the absence of women in the church. Because my mom, although I don't think she would call herself a feminist... didn't get married until she was 30. She served a mission. She got a degree in the 80s at a time when the church was very clear that that wasn't necessary for women.”

Hailey Walser Mormon Stories 2176 at 11:19, 2026. Hear it · Episode

Quotes are taken from machine-made transcripts of Mormon Stories interviews and may contain small transcription errors. Each links to the moment in the recording so you can hear it for yourself.

What people actually name

From the crowd-sourced 2014 comprehensive list, lightly edited.

  • Women hold no priesthood office, preside over nothing that includes men, and are absent from every council that sets doctrine or policy.
  • A twelve-year-old boy has more ecclesiastical authority than any woman in the Church.
  • Young women taught that their worth lies in marriage and motherhood and discouraged from other ambitions.
  • Men interviewing girls and women alone about sexual matters.
  • Temple covenants, until 2019, in which women promised to hearken to their husbands.
  • Heavenly Mother acknowledged in doctrine but not to be prayed to or discussed.
  • Eternal polygamy still in force in sealing policy.
  • Modesty teaching that made women responsible for men's thoughts.
  • Records showing Joseph Smith gave women a form of priesthood authority in the Relief Society that was later withdrawn.

What the Church has said

Hear it first-hand

More episodes on this, ranked

Mormon Stories interviews where this comes up most, beyond the ones chosen above.

Ranked by the Mormon Stories episode recommender: what the transcripts say, what the titles and categories say, how widely the videos are watched, and what editors have pinned. Rebuilt with the site. Video plays here when you press play; the episode page has the audio and transcript.

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